as

Self – Interviewee (voice)

as

Ben

as

Gramps

as

Barber

as

Mr. Rostalle

as

Martin

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Sarge (voice)

as

The Foreman (voice)

as

The Old Man

as

Hot Dog Vendor

as

Eleanor's Father

as

Sherm

as

Himself

as

Grandpa Ben

as

Mr. Spritzer

as

Self

as

Abe Nussbaum

as

Reverend Ben Goodwin

as

Warden

as

Addison Prudy

as

Judge Wendel Donahue

as

George Menschell

as

George

as

Dean Duaney

as

Hank Luckinbill

as

Hank

as

Hank the Janitor/Mall Santa

as

Paul

as

Stan Coffman

as

Self

as

Buddy Ween

as

Cheryl's Father

as

Walter Carpenter

as

Walter

as

The Judge

as

Jack Albert

as

Earl Schimmel

as

Bill Ridley

as

Leo Amerson

as

Bud Chapman

as

Father Norton

as

Coach Buck

as

Judge Harper

as

Judge Philip Swackheim

as

Nicholas Engblume

as

Polo

as

UFO Abductee

as

McGinty

as

Joe Bangs

as

Ralphie

as

Red

as

Ed Dutton

as

Jerry Briggs

as

Emmett Davis

as

Senator Thatch

as

Mel

as

Jim Anderson

as

Stan (voice)

as

Walter McTeague

as

Henry Lewis

as

Chuck Wood

as

Thomas Kelsey

as

Tupperware Salesman

as

Richard

as

Sid Wiggins

as

Big Chuck

as

Chester Caruso

as

Enabran Tain

as

Herb Tolliver

as

John Shirley

as

Paul Dooley

as

Asst. Dist. Atty. Robert Norrell

as

Gus Stemple

as

Father Michael (voice)

as

Ben McKenna

as

Robert McFarlane

as

Randolph (segment "Forever Ambergris")

as

Horace Van Dam

as

Father Freddie

as

John Buxton

as

Gil Hutchinson

as

Pops

as

William Burns

as

Randall Schwab

as

Roy Crane

as

George Noozel

as

Karl Bullen

as

Whizzer

as

Don Liddle

as

Isaac Q. Newton

as

George Corliss

as

Joe Hiatt

as

Kendall

as

The Miller

as

Detective

as

Father

as

The Miller

as

Detective

as

(segment "Lost & Found") (voice)

as

Gazooks (voice)

as

Hyannisport Announcer

as

Day Desk Clerk at Hotel

as

(voice)

as

Grandpa Jack

as

Self

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Glen

as

Lou 'The Bull' Devine

as

Ronnie

as

Mort

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Mr. Fancy

as

Earl Hudson

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Hank

as

Ralph

as

Ralph

as

Rocky

as

Bearded Man aka Santa

as

Father Whiteleather

as

Murray

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Sarge (voice)

as

Paper Badge Sergeant

as

Mr. Bernthal

as

Grandpa Donald

as

Mayor Don Vaughn

as

Dr. Walter Tapley

as

(voice)

as

Chief Nyback

as

Larry

as

Mr. Lerner

as

Owen Cheese

as

Twittenham

as

Hal Roach

as

Stark

as

Doc

as

Mickey Tupper

as

Jim Baker

as

Chester Caruso

as

Dr. Ted

as

Claude Elsinore

as

Museum Security Guard

as

Father

as

Kurt

as

Ames Prescott

as

Wimpy

as

Dr. Gil Gainey

as

Ray Stoller

as

Simon Peterfreund

as

Alex Theodopoulos

as

Snooks Brenner

as

Salesman

as

Cop at Hospital (uncredited)

as

Doctor

as

Statue of Liberty Guard

as

Vic

as

Ted K. Worrie

as

Photographer

as

Self

as

Writer